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fallout | inspectorboxeract 3The moon was nearly full, hanging low in the sky as Cameron parked the van and killed the engine. Sarah sat still in the passenger seat, staring vacantly out through the dusty windshield at the dark waves rushing ashore about thirty yards below. She heard a rustle beside her as Cameron opened her door, the beach breeze rushing in as she stepped outside. "What are we doing here?" Sarah asked roughly, her voice hoarse with disuse or from screaming over alarms, she wasn't sure. They had driven around the city for a couple of hours, until Cameron had deemed it safe to stop. However, they hadn't ended up at the house or a hotel but rather this isolated stretch of beach. It was pretty, to be sure, but it was not where Sarah had expected the ride to end. "There is a safe house about two hundred yards from this location. It's only accessible by foot or by boat." Cameron shut her door, effectively cutting off any more questions. Feeling her jaw clench, Sarah had to will herself to relax. Shoving open her own door, she stepped outside, breathing in the clean air as she watched Cameron open the back of the van. Coming closer, she grabbed the handle on one of the doors, listening to the sound of canvas sliding over metal as Cameron dragged out the bag with the supplies Sarah had purchased at a drug store a few miles back. "A safe house," Sarah repeated, pleased to note that she sounded halfway patient. "I don't know anything about this safe house." "Do I know about all of your backup locations?" Cameron asked pointedly. She shouldered the bag with ease and stepped past Sarah, leaving the older woman to simply stand and stare. A small, satisfied smirk twisted the corner of her lips as she heard Sarah's teeth grind behind her. Sarah shook her head and slammed the van door shut with a bang, her feet automatically taking the path Cameron had, across the small, empty parking lot to a trail leading through the dunes and down to the beach below. Cameron was right, Sarah admitted, knowing that she had more than her fair share of backup locations that she hadn't shared with anyone. Even though Cameron's secret was necessary, it was still a secret, and Sarah felt like there had been far too many of them lately. "Just because you have a point doesn't mean I'm not pissed about this," Sarah mumbled. Cameron glanced over her shoulder, regarding Sarah with a bland expression. Reaching the edge of the sand, she dropped the bag at the beginning of the path and began to unlace her boots. "Take off your shoes. You'll move faster through the sand without them." Sighing, Sarah complied, untying the laces on her boots and slipping off her socks. The sand was almost cold as it tickled between her toes. She glanced up in time to see Cameron wiggle hers, digging them into the grainy surface with unconscious pleasure. The sight made Sarah pause, and her gaze jerked to Cameron's face as the wind teased tendrils of hair around her face and the moonlight turned her skin milk-white. Cameron had her eyes closed, and as Sarah watched intently, Cameron took a deep breath of the salty ocean air. Feeling compelled to do the same, the scent of sand and ocean filled Sarah's lungs. It stirred memories of her childhood, of awkward dates and kisses around beach bonfires under the stars. It smelled like life before the machines. Her eyelids fluttered open and she found Cameron staring at her, and the look in those depthless brown eyes nearly took Sarah's breath away. Looking caught and strangely guilty, Cameron abruptly snatched up her boots and the bag and started down the path without a word. Watching her go, Sarah resisted the urge to call her back, for what she wasn't exactly sure. The moments, the gazes, were beginning to pile up and she wanted to know if they meant the same thing to Cameron as they did to her. She bit her lip, hating the way they had returned to walking on eggshells around each other. "Damn it, girlie," she breathed softly, aching just to see one of Cameron's rare smiles and hating herself for it. She had a reason to be angry, though, Sarah allowed herself. Just when she thought they were moving beyond keeping secrets, when she'd thought there were no secrets left, Cameron had surprised her with the biggest one of all, nearly leaving Sarah behind forever. The knowledge left Sarah feeling ragged and raw, and she longed for a heavy bag to take out her frustrations on. With another long sigh, Sarah slowly followed the terminator down through the sand. She glanced around as they walked, listening to the waves as they pounded ashore. The water sounded cold, and Sarah shivered a little as the wind picked up. Her gaze wandered back to Cameron almost magnetically, knowing how warm and soft that lithe body could be. Sarah raked a hand through her windswept hair and kept walking, shoving the heated thoughts her brain unhelpfully conjured up aside. "We're almost there," Cameron told her, as if sensing Sarah's discomfort. "How long have you had this location?" Sarah called over the roar of the waves, hoping to distract herself from the appealing sway of Cameron's hips. "Not long." Cameron abruptly pivoted and changed direction, heading up and away from the water. A few minutes later, Cameron opened the door to a small beach house. Sarah stepped inside, glancing around with interest as the terminator moved away to deposit the bag in a bedroom somewhere. The space was incredibly small, just big enough for one or two people to live comfortably, but it was cozy and spotlessly clean. Opening the fridge, Sarah peered inside at the empty contents, the light harsh after the darkness she had been awash in for the last few hours. Letting the door drift shut, she found a light switch and flipped it, revealing a living room beyond the kitchen. Frowning, Sarah padded around the interior with bare feet, taking in the sparse furnishings as she made her way to a pair of French doors. She opened them, the muted roar of the waves returning to full volume as she gazed out over the ocean below. No doubt the view was beautiful in the daytime. It wasn't half bad in the moonlight, either. Questions crowded her tongue. What in the hell was Cameron doing with this space? Why had she kept it a secret? Safe house or not, the place wasn't big enough for more than two or three people at the most, not the whole ragtag group. Obviously this wasn't a space Cameron had ever planned on using to hide them all. A shower came on. Sarah turned her attention toward the sound, swallowing as she thought about Cameron climbing in under the hot spray. Her body warmed abruptly, flushing with a familiar heat that did little to clear Sarah's mind. As upset as she was, as confused and hurt as she was by Cameron's actions today, clearly her body wasn't as conflicted as her emotions were. If she had felt even a little confident in the reception she might receive, Sarah might have taken advantage of the situation and joined Cameron, but she didn't want to end the day being tossed unceremoniously out of the shower, or worse, through a wall. She plopped down on a small, brown leather sofa in the living room. Dropping her boots on the floor, Sarah listened to the sounds of the surf and shower as she tried to order her thoughts and feelings with very little success. "Damn you, girlie," she whispered again. **** Cameron could hear Sarah moving about the kitchen and living room, inspecting their refuge for the night. She had purchased this house not long before her relationship with Sarah had irrevocably changed, intending for it to be a place Sarah could go to think… to relax. Once Sarah had gotten sick, it had become Cameron's place of solace instead. Sarah had to be wondering about this place, about its purpose, Cameron acknowledged as she shed the rest of her clothes. She owed Sarah an explanation, but she wasn't really looking forward to giving her one. She was still angry with Sarah, furious, actually. She had made her mad before, but not like this. Sarah had blackmailed her into coming back to her body, used Cameron's feelings against her, and very nearly gotten killed in the process. She had known the one thing that Cameron, in any embodiment, couldn't accept—her death—and she had used that threat to get what she had wanted regardless of Cameron's desires. The woman had ruined everything, condemning Cameron to a continued life of suffering, denying her the rest, solace, and escape she'd so desperately wanted. The frustration was so intense that Cameron wanted to hit something again, anything, to release it, but she was forced to fist her hands as a weak substitute. Angling her back toward the mirror over the sink, Cameron inspected the dried blood and bullet wound on her back with a scowl. The bullet was in a difficult spot. She would need Sarah's help to remove it. That meant more contact. It meant Sarah's hands on her. She shivered at the thought, both repulsed and aroused, as conflicting emotions roiled her body and mind. She began to realize why terminators were kept from feeling emotions, or even physical touch, too strongly. It complicated the mission, made it hard, even impossible, to let go, and Sarah… Sarah made her feel too much of everything. She heard Sarah open the doors to the deck. Cameron could imagine her standing out there, her arms wrapped around herself to stay warm, her skin pale in the moonlight as the waves crashed below. The urge to go to her, to confess all her motives, all her feelings, had Cameron's hand around the doorknob before she even realized what she was doing. She had to command her fingers to turn it loose. Cameron glanced down at her hands, turning them over and staring at them, remembering what it had felt like when she'd returned to her body, when she'd felt the rough and familiar texture of Sarah's palms against her own. It had felt real and alive, safe and warm. It had felt like friendship, she realized. Maybe even a little like love. "Damn you," Cameron whispered as she mourned all she had given up to hold onto the one thing that mattered most. Turning on the shower, she waited for the water to warm before finally stepping under the spray. Cameron winced as the droplets struck the wound on her back. The pain was oddly welcome, necessary even, as it washed away the blood and grime. She picked up the soap and began to run it absently over her skin, the crisp scent pleasing after the damp, pungent smells inside the sewer. Staring at the white tiles, Cameron remembered the feel of the cable in her hand; it had felt like a lifeline, a connection and an escape route all in one. She had cast one last look over her shoulder, hearing Sarah's voice and feeling a moment of regret and wrenching loss before she'd ruthlessly shoved the emotions away. Sitting down, she'd plugged into the system, experiencing a rush as her consciousness left her body behind and had flown free. In the system there was no more pain, no more confusion. There was only the mission, her reason for being. Once again, her purpose became clear. Protect the Connors. Stop Skynet. Cameron turned her focus on C.A.I.N., detecting his presence as he reached out to examine her in return. Her thoughts had scattered when Sarah had touched her, anchoring Cameron to her body by the thin thread of a connection she hadn't even remembered leaving open. She'd greedily turned to that link, trying to push Sarah away even as she'd soaked up the fact Sarah was staying behind. Sarah had begged her to stay. Had blackmailed her to get what she wanted, and a part of Cameron had reveled in her words, in her actions, in being needed… wanted. Maybe that had been her true motivation the whole time. The terminator lifted her head, the soap slipping from her fingers as the realization dawned. A part of her had wanted Sarah to stop her, had hoped Sarah would stop her. She'd just never really thought Sarah would. A moment of weakness. That's what a human would call it. Maybe they had both had one, as Sarah had risked everything to save her, begging her to return, to stay with her. Sarah had revealed that she cared, cared for her, but at what cost? What cost to them all? And how had she not known about her true intentions to begin with, how had she not realized the full extent of her actions? She should have known and planned for the possibility, anticipated Sarah's improbable actions and arranged for a resolution that wouldn't have meant abandoning her mission. Cameron closed her eyes, feeling like she had somehow betrayed the other woman even by saving her, but she knew she couldn't have let Sarah die. Stopping Skynet meant nothing if she couldn't stop it for Sarah. **** "Are you all right?" Sarah jumped, her eyes blinking open in the warm lamplight before drifting upward. Cameron was standing before her looking fresher in new jeans and a black t-shirt. Her hair was wet and her feet bare, making for a picture of domestic normalcy while still managing to make Sarah's hormones go haywire. "Must have dozed off," Sarah managed as she cleared her throat. Her gaze lingered on Cameron's features, worried by the uncertainty she found there. "You okay, Tin Miss?" Cameron regarded her for a long moment. "I don't know," she admitted softly, but the animosity that had been in her voice all day was mercifully absent. Sarah had to nod at the truth of the terminator's answer. "Yeah," she murmured. "Me either." Brown eyes looked away as Cameron focused on the floor between them. "I'll need your help… with the bullet," she explained in case there was any doubt. Sarah eased to her feet and closed the distance between them, feeling her stomach doing a few giddy somersaults as she breathed in a lungful of Cameron's clean skin. "Bad spot, huh?" she asked lamely, hoping Cameron wasn't picking up on her sudden strange bout of nerves. Sarah waited for Cameron's gaze to lift and meet hers but it didn't. The terminator merely nodded. "It will wait until you've had your shower." "Cameron, look at me," Sarah urged, suddenly needing to see her eyes with almost ferocious desperation. Reluctantly, Cameron complied, but it seemed to take all of her effort. They stared at each other as a clock in the kitchen ticked into the silence that stretched between them. Something in the terminator's posture and eyes worried Sarah; there had been a similar look in her eyes the day before, when she had slipped into Sarah's bedroom, when she had tried to say goodbye. "Promise me you'll be here when I get out," Sarah finally said, not even trying to keep the pleading tone from her words. She'd barely taken her eyes off the terminator since they'd escaped Kaliba, afraid if she looked away, even for a second, that Cameron would vanish. The mere notion left her feeling sick and shaken, and she searched Cameron's eyes, letting some of the need she normally kept a tight rein on shine through. Cameron seemed surprised by the request, but some of the tension in her frame relaxed. "I promise," said solemnly. Sarah nodded, relieved to feel like she believed her. "I won't be long." It was Cameron's turn to nod. "I left clothes for you in the bathroom." "You think it's safe to call John now?" Sarah asked as she slipped her cell phone from her back pocket, staring at it with faint distaste as it rested in her palm. "It should be." Cameron blinked as Sarah handed her the device. She looked at the other woman questioningly, hesitating to take the phone. Sarah smirked. "Not much in the mood to get yelled at," she confessed. "He'll be glad to know you're okay," Cameron argued. "Yeah," Sarah agreed. "And then he'll yell." A faint trace of the smile Sarah had been craving since the explosion finally appeared. Cameron finally reached out and took the phone, her touch lingering on Sarah's fingers and making the other woman's pulse race. "My hero," Sarah joked, her mouth feeling dry. What she saw in Cameron's eyes made Sarah's heart constrict almost painfully. A lost look, mixed with a healthy dose of regret, stared back at her, and all Sarah wanted to do was make it go away. "Cameron…" she began, trying to clasp Cameron's hand but the terminator moved away. "I wanted to be," Cameron said simply. She began to enter Ellison's number, keeping her back to Sarah. "You are," Sarah realized out loud, her throat tightening as she turned away and headed to the shower, missing the expression of surprise on Cameron's features and a tiny hint of another cherished smile. **** James felt the phone vibrate in his back pocket. He went still, backing away from the others as they silently continued to hack into Kaliba's security feeds from their living room. His heart was thudding in his chest as he slipped the phone free. Taking a tight, short breath before looking at the caller ID, James felt tempered relief wash through him at the number that stared back. He stuffed the emotion down, acknowledging that someone could have found Sarah's phone, that the person on the other side might be an enemy rather than a friend. "Hello?" he greeted, feeling almost silly to be answering so casually. The proper code was entered on the other end and he did the same. "Where are you?" he asked before the caller could answer. "We're safe." James swallowed, feeling almost lightheaded. He leaned against the counter, not sure his knees would hold him. "Cameron?" he whispered. With a quick glance toward the living room, he opened the exterior door and stepped outside. The air was pleasantly cool, a welcome contrast to the stifling atmosphere in the house. "Yes," Cameron confirmed. "Sarah is fine. She's getting cleaned up." A softly murmured prayer of thanks carried to Cameron over the phone before James spoke to her again. "We thought you were both dead." "We had to take an alternate route out. We ran into some of Kaliba's operatives." James nodded. "I was hoping that was the case. You need to come home. John is..." He hesitated. "He's grieving. He thinks he lost his mother." "I know," Cameron replied, and her voice actually held a hint of sympathy. "We'll be home in the morning. We didn't want to call until we were out of Kaliba's range. We don't think we were followed but we wanted to make sure." "Where are you?" he asked again, curious to know why they hadn't come back to the house. "Safe," Cameron answered, in that monotone way that told him he wasn't getting any further information from her. "I understand." He ran a hand over his bare head before cupping his neck and massaging the tension her found there. "I'm just glad she's all right." He paused. "That you both are," he added softly. There was a noticeable hesitation on the other end of the call. James smiled, knowing he'd surprised the machine. "What?" he teased. "I would have missed our philosophical conversations." "So would I," Cameron admitted after another moment. "Did everyone inside make it out?" "Are you talking about our team or Kaliba's?" "Both." "We're all fine. I've heard there were casualties on Kaliba's end, but I don't know how many." "There should have been none. I activated the fire alarms with plenty of time for employees to clear the building." "Cameron, you can't blame yourself..." "I don't." Cameron's blunt statement stopped James cold. "C.A.I.N. was sealing off fire doors. He was trapping people inside." The news made the former agent swallow. "Why would it do that?" "I don't know. I also believe he helped Sarah and me escape." Their differing uses of pronouns to label C.A.I.N. didn't escape him, but James figured they had more important things to talk about. "Any idea why?" "I don't know," Cameron said again, sounding more frustrated this time. "Are you telling me C.A.I.N. is still out there?" James fished. "Still... online?" "Yes." Cameron was quiet again and James thought he could hear waves crashing in the background as he absorbed the unwelcome news. "I'm not sure I made the right decision, James." Hearing his first name fall from Cameron's lips startled him, but he was grateful for the signal of trust. James finally admitted he actually liked the metal girl and decided to just roll with the strange friendship they seemed to be forming. "Things happened the way they were meant to happen," he promised her. "Sarah says there is no fate but what we make." "And God says there is a plan for all of us. Apparently even you, Cameron." "What if I could have stopped Skynet today? What if we never get another chance?" James could hear the worry and fear in Cameron's voice, and he winced in sympathy for her. "I don't believe that. If it's God's will that we stop Skynet, then we will at another time and another place." "But what if people get hurt before then? What if-" "Cameron, you're experiencing a very agonizing side of being human right now. Thinking about the what ifs will just drive you mad." "I can't help it," Cameron stated morosely. "Yeah, neither can we," James said with a dry laugh. "You need to find something to keep your mind off it." "Like what?" "You're a smart girl, Cameron. I'm sure you'll think of something." There was another odd pause, but James didn't dwell on it. "Does Sarah want to talk to John?" "She's not in the mood to hear him yell." James chuckled again. "Don't blame her. I'll tell him she was tired and needed to rest." "That would not be a lie. Is Savannah all right?" "Sleeping. We put off telling her anything about you and Sarah until tomorrow, but she's been sticking close. She knows something is wrong." "She's very perceptive." "That she is," James agreed. "Your friend is still hanging around... the quiet one." "Good," Cameron acknowledged without elaborating. "We'll see you both tomorrow then." "Tomorrow," Cameron confirmed. "For what it's worth, Cameron," James added. "I think you did the right thing." "I hope so." The call disconnected and James brought the phone to his chin, taking a moment to savor the feeling of relief that washed through him. C.A.I.N. was still a problem, but the news of Cameron and Sarah's survival made this day feel more like a victory now than a defeat. Behind him, the door opened, and Terissa stuck her head out, the scent of the sauce she'd been making on the stove drifting to him on the breeze. "Everything all right?" she asked hesitantly. James smiled. **** Steam hung heavy in the air, collecting on the mirror and clinging to Sarah's already damp skin. She'd practically scalded herself in the shower, standing under the spray as hot as she could stand it. It had taken almost ten minutes of scrubbing her skin, but she finally felt like she'd gotten the dust and death off her. Using her hand to wipe away the condensation, Sarah studied her reflection in the mirror. All things considered, she didn't look too bad. For once, there were no dark circles under her eyes, and some of the weight she'd been shedding before John's jump seemed to have reappeared. She vaguely wondered if her improving health was due to Cameron's continued fussing or the little robots swimming around in her bloodstream. Either way, Sarah begrudgingly admitted the cyborg had a hand in the matter. Just one more reason it scared Sarah silly at the thought of losing her. She sighed, bracing her hands on each side of the sink as she weighed what to say to Cameron next. Sarah wanted to yell, wanted to shake sense into Cameron, wanted to get rid of that lost look in her eyes. Didn't the damn girl understand that people cared about her? Didn't she understand how much losing her would hurt? Green eyes lifted and studied their mirror image. Maybe Cameron didn't know, Sarah reluctantly admitted. It wasn't like she gave the girl much to go on. Only Savannah was free with her affection, and for someone who was just learning how important touch could be... how necessary it was to one's mental wellbeing... "She must have felt starved," Sarah realized aloud, feeling shame rush through her at the thought. She'd pleasured the other woman, shown her just how good she could feel, then she'd taken that away like it had meant nothing in her fear. Her inner turmoil, her inability to admit what she wanted, what she needed, had caused Cameron pain. Sarah hung her head, shaking it slowly, as regrets overwhelmed her. She'd been trying to rebuild the bridge she'd burned between them ever since she had recovered from her illness, but Cameron hadn't made it easy and now she realized why. Cameron was in self-preservation mode, and Sarah had activated it. Resisting the temptation to put her fist through her reflection, Sarah finished toweling herself off before slipping on a fresh blue t-shirt and gray sweats. Padding out into the cooler hallway, Sarah stopped and listened, the sound of the ocean reaching her through the open deck doors. For a moment, she considered heading toward the bedroom, putting off the storm that had been brewing between them all day, but her conscience wouldn't let her, and Sarah needed to see with her own eyes that Cameron was still there like she promised. The terminator was standing out on the deck, her arms resting on the railing as she gazed out over the whitecaps visible in the moonlight. Cameron was breathtakingly beautiful, the reflected light and wind making her look like a model on a shoot, and Sarah had to take a moment to simply admire her. The urge to yell, to fight, fled with no protest, dissolving into the ether. Sarah smiled wryly at herself. No wonder Cameron thought she was insane at times. Even she couldn't predict her own emotions. Sarah came closer, stepping out onto the deck and feeling the breeze whip her damp hair back. The cooler air felt nice after the heat of the shower and she took a moment to breathe it in, feeling it steady her even more. "Hey," she greeted neutrally. Cameron glanced at her but said nothing. Sarah's fingers itched to touch her, to share the connection she was feeling, but she decided to go for the practical matters first. "Ready to get that bullet out?" The terminator slowly nodded. "There is a toolbox in the kitchen." "After you." Sarah gestured toward the door and Cameron reluctantly complied. "I called Ellison, told him we were safe." Cameron grabbed the hem of her --shirt and began to peel it off over her head, exposing her bare back as she entered the kitchen. Sarah swallowed past a lump in her throat and asked, "Everyone okay?" She already knew the answer in her heart, but she needed something to distract her. Cameron nodded. "John was upset." Sarah pursed her lips. "I suppose I would feel worse if he weren't." She cracked open the toolbox, rooting around until she found a pair of needle-nose pliers. "I'll make it up to him." Cameron settled in a chair at a small bistro table, waiting patiently for Sarah to begin. Surveying the damage, Sarah winced. "I thought you said this could wait until I had my shower." "It did wait until you had your shower," Cameron pointed out. Sarah shook her head and refused to get angry. "Looks like it hurts like a bitch," she muttered, frowning at the hole in Cameron's skin. She placed her left hand on Cameron's shoulder and was startled to feel Cameron shiver at the contact. Sarah licked her lips, feeling the tension between them swell and thicken. Sighing, Sarah adjusted her grip on the pliers and gently eased the tip into Cameron's flesh, wincing in sympathy when Cameron flinched. "Sorry." "It's okay," Cameron promised, her voice tight with pain. "A little to your left." Doing as she was told, Sarah tried again. "Here?" There was a pause, and Sarah almost stopped, insisting that Cameron turn off her damn pain receptors before they went any further. "Yes," Cameron breathed. The terminator flinched again as the tip of the pliers scraped the bullet. Sarah hated herself for hurting her. "Almost got it," Sarah promised, finally getting the pliers around the object and quickly pulling it free. She watched as Cameron's shoulders sagged in relief, barely resisting the urge to lay a soothing kiss on the exposed curve of Cameron's neck. "Hold still and let me patch this up." Sarah turned and dropped the bullet and pliers on the table, but her thumb began to stroke the soft skin where it still rested against Cameron's shoulder. She could feel the subtle tension creeping back into Cameron's frame as the touch continued, but Sarah didn't stop. Cameron blinked before closing her eyes, feeling the faint touch sear through her, awakening her body and anchoring her to the chair just as Sarah's hand in hers had anchored her to the physical world hours before. She was as powerless to run then as she was now. Desire stirred, deep and aching inside her, and Cameron shifted uncomfortably. "Almost done." Sarah's voice came out hushed and rough as she let her hand trail across Cameron's back, watching as gooseflesh rose in its wake. She brushed Cameron's hair aside, swallowing as her breathing became shallow and her hands started to shake. She made quick work of stitching up the wound, cleaning it, then covering it with a small bandage. No sooner was she done then Cameron stood, turning to face her in the small kitchen. They were so close, Sarah could feel the heat off the other woman's bare skin, and she longed to feel more of it, to sink into that welcome warmth and get lost in it. "Cameron..." Cameron noted all the physical signs of Sarah's arousal, feeling her own body responding in kind. She took a step forward, their bodies barely brushing. It would be so easy to close the gap between them, and Cameron felt the hunger, the raw desire for the other woman surging up inside her. Her gaze flicked to the counter, to the wall, but her thoughts were rough and still laced with an edge of anger. She didn't dare touch Sarah. Not now. Not yet. "I need to check the perimeter." Sarah closed her eyes as she felt the terminator slip by her, careful not to let their bodies touch. Cameron slipped her shirt on a second before she yanked open the door and almost ran outside. As the door slammed shut behind her, Sarah's head dropped in defeat.
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